I learned a new word: "Keynesian." Apparently it means this: "The free market sometimes makes imperfect or "inefficient" decisions so we should give some market control over to an entity that consistently makes terrible and wasteful decisions." That, of course, is paraphrased - a Keynesian would never admit that's what he or she is suggesting - but it definitely is an accurate way to describe the school of thought.
Keynes is another example of why academia is mostly a waste of time and money. Before we fire the lawyers into the sun, we should get rid of the economists, the sociologists (including cultural "anthropologists"), and the political "scientists."
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Define "Team Player" for me
I've noticed something. A long, long time ago I used to work a regular W-2 job. My bosses would, regularly, say "Max. You are not a team player." Yet when members of my team were questioned, they always seemed to like me. Of course, there is always the potential for a mass-conspiracy but, about a year after this trend started, I came to a better conclusion.
Let's step back a bit before we go forward. It seems like vacuous people have some sort of mechanism for propagating invalid definitions. You might think "language," and, of course, you would be right, but I mean something more specific. The same way that flocks of birds seem to all turn at once, simple-minded individuals all adopt a piece of jargon at once.
A result of this epiphany was an effort on my part to start separating the English language out by dialect. You have "West Coast," "East Coast," "Midwest," "Southern," and "Idiot." Oddly, the last two are not very strongly correlated. I think the reason might be that the smartest person in the South is still several rungs on the evolutionary ladder below an ordinary idiot.
A few months after I started treating morons as though they spoke their own language, I discovered what they mean when they say "team player." It has nothing to do with your ability to work as part of a team. It's all about your ability to kiss their ass. When your manager says that you are not a "team player," he or she actually means that you are not "obsequious and blindly obedient to me."
In other words: they are saying "God damn it! Respect my authori-tay!"
Let's step back a bit before we go forward. It seems like vacuous people have some sort of mechanism for propagating invalid definitions. You might think "language," and, of course, you would be right, but I mean something more specific. The same way that flocks of birds seem to all turn at once, simple-minded individuals all adopt a piece of jargon at once.
A result of this epiphany was an effort on my part to start separating the English language out by dialect. You have "West Coast," "East Coast," "Midwest," "Southern," and "Idiot." Oddly, the last two are not very strongly correlated. I think the reason might be that the smartest person in the South is still several rungs on the evolutionary ladder below an ordinary idiot.
A few months after I started treating morons as though they spoke their own language, I discovered what they mean when they say "team player." It has nothing to do with your ability to work as part of a team. It's all about your ability to kiss their ass. When your manager says that you are not a "team player," he or she actually means that you are not "obsequious and blindly obedient to me."
In other words: they are saying "God damn it! Respect my authori-tay!"
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Where Did My Hospitality Items Go?
What happened to hospitality?
We went to Thai Ginger, today. The food was tasty and the service was pretty good for a Thai place... but they charge for rice. What the hell?
Now, let's get something clear. I pay four dollars for coffee twice a day. Obviously, I don't have a problem with useless expenses, but I take exception to getting charged for rice. If you want to charge an extra buck-fifty a meal, here's a thought: add one-dollar and fifty cents to the price of your meals. I don't go to a Mexican restaurant and pay for chips. I don't go to a Japanese restaurant and pay for soup. I don't go to a fast food joint and pay for drink refills. Why should I go to a Thai restaurant and pay for rice?
If it were one restaurant, I probably wouldn't sweat it. The problem is that this is a growing trend and it is a symptom of the debasement of our culture and the cultures that produced these fine cuisines. People are willing to pay more if they are doing so in smaller increments. It's some funky factor of human psychology. The fact that non-chain establishments are leveraging this mechanism in our brains shows that the people - the individuals - running these companies are succumbing to the "almighty buck."
There is nothing wrong with wealth. There is nothing wrong with the acquisition thereof. There is nothing wrong with the rich living a nicer life than the poor. The problem with people who subscribe to the "almighty buck" theory of business is that they, invariably, are myopic - by both definitions of the word.
Not offering hospitality items grants a short-term gain with a long-term cost. I've dealt with a number of businessmen who believed that a series of short-term, high-yield plans was an effective way to run a business. I was a believer. These people had a lot of money... compared to me. Through time and observation I found that those men, and I, were wrong. Short-term planning yields short-term results. You can acquire wealth with such thinking, but you will never be rich. You've got to be a long-term planner to make it big.
The acquisition of wealth, power, and fame can be done through means both nefarious and virtuous - look at Dick Cheney and Bill Gates (respectively) - but in either case it is done in a careful, thoughtful manner. So I say this to the food & hospitality industry: unless you want to get bitch-slapped by the invisible hand, stop reaching into my wallet.
We went to Thai Ginger, today. The food was tasty and the service was pretty good for a Thai place... but they charge for rice. What the hell?
Now, let's get something clear. I pay four dollars for coffee twice a day. Obviously, I don't have a problem with useless expenses, but I take exception to getting charged for rice. If you want to charge an extra buck-fifty a meal, here's a thought: add one-dollar and fifty cents to the price of your meals. I don't go to a Mexican restaurant and pay for chips. I don't go to a Japanese restaurant and pay for soup. I don't go to a fast food joint and pay for drink refills. Why should I go to a Thai restaurant and pay for rice?
If it were one restaurant, I probably wouldn't sweat it. The problem is that this is a growing trend and it is a symptom of the debasement of our culture and the cultures that produced these fine cuisines. People are willing to pay more if they are doing so in smaller increments. It's some funky factor of human psychology. The fact that non-chain establishments are leveraging this mechanism in our brains shows that the people - the individuals - running these companies are succumbing to the "almighty buck."
There is nothing wrong with wealth. There is nothing wrong with the acquisition thereof. There is nothing wrong with the rich living a nicer life than the poor. The problem with people who subscribe to the "almighty buck" theory of business is that they, invariably, are myopic - by both definitions of the word.
Not offering hospitality items grants a short-term gain with a long-term cost. I've dealt with a number of businessmen who believed that a series of short-term, high-yield plans was an effective way to run a business. I was a believer. These people had a lot of money... compared to me. Through time and observation I found that those men, and I, were wrong. Short-term planning yields short-term results. You can acquire wealth with such thinking, but you will never be rich. You've got to be a long-term planner to make it big.
The acquisition of wealth, power, and fame can be done through means both nefarious and virtuous - look at Dick Cheney and Bill Gates (respectively) - but in either case it is done in a careful, thoughtful manner. So I say this to the food & hospitality industry: unless you want to get bitch-slapped by the invisible hand, stop reaching into my wallet.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
The Super Bowl is Here!!!
I hate the Super Bowl. I hate football. Why do people watch it? You know what is really awful about football? If your answer was "no," you're just kidding yourself... You do.
The problem with football is the way people react to it. They jump up and down. They shout. They act as though there is even a shred of meaning to it. If the Seahawks win (and I only know it's the Seahawks because I am on contract in Seattle) what happens? What if they lose? I suppose those who have money riding on it have something to cheer about, but otherwise: what the hell? Nobody lives or dies because of it. Nothing important happens. Another stupid little record goes into the "Winners of the Super Bowl" table in all of these troglodytes' heads. That's it.
That's why I'm proposing the "Sterilization for Sports" program. Under this bold new legislation, Ticketmaster would be moved into the public sector. In order to purchase a ticket to a sporting event, one must show proof of sterilization. In order to redeem said ticket, one must, again, show proof that they cannot breed. If someone that is capable of reproduction shows up with a ticket, the government will offer to neuter or spay him or (not as likely) her for free.
Stay tuned for more of my brave new eugenics programs.
The problem with football is the way people react to it. They jump up and down. They shout. They act as though there is even a shred of meaning to it. If the Seahawks win (and I only know it's the Seahawks because I am on contract in Seattle) what happens? What if they lose? I suppose those who have money riding on it have something to cheer about, but otherwise: what the hell? Nobody lives or dies because of it. Nothing important happens. Another stupid little record goes into the "Winners of the Super Bowl" table in all of these troglodytes' heads. That's it.
That's why I'm proposing the "Sterilization for Sports" program. Under this bold new legislation, Ticketmaster would be moved into the public sector. In order to purchase a ticket to a sporting event, one must show proof of sterilization. In order to redeem said ticket, one must, again, show proof that they cannot breed. If someone that is capable of reproduction shows up with a ticket, the government will offer to neuter or spay him or (not as likely) her for free.
Stay tuned for more of my brave new eugenics programs.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Portentous Arrival
Well. I'm here. It's the year two-thousand six, and I have finally arrived on the internet. It's pretty much the equivalent of a new year's resolution, for me: I've gone years thinking "Man! I really need to start a blog." Now I'm not thinking that, anymore. Instead I'm thinking "Man! I got myself a blog and I don't know what to say!" C'est la vie.
It seems like an introduction is in order. I'm Max Guernsey, III, son of Max Guernsey, Jr., who is, in turn, the son of Max Guernsey, Sr. That's where the "III" part of my name comes from. I'm a software architect who's been in the business (or, as the kids say, "the biz") for about seven years, now. That's the official amount of time. Like everyone who fancies himself a programmer, I've been doing what I do since I was a twinkle in my father's eye.
My interests include the following:
It seems like an introduction is in order. I'm Max Guernsey, III, son of Max Guernsey, Jr., who is, in turn, the son of Max Guernsey, Sr. That's where the "III" part of my name comes from. I'm a software architect who's been in the business (or, as the kids say, "the biz") for about seven years, now. That's the official amount of time. Like everyone who fancies himself a programmer, I've been doing what I do since I was a twinkle in my father's eye.
My interests include the following:
- Cats
- Acquiring money
- Software development
- Books (writing, not reading... I don't read)
- Music (reading/writing)
- Movies (consumption only)
- Avoiding injury
- Cartoons (funny)
- Happy endings
My disinterests include the following:
- Embracing my mortality
- Tap-dancing
- Musicals
- Elephants
- Japanimation and other stupid forms of cartoon*
- Comic movies other than "X-Men"
- Gym socks
- Gyms
The following are things that I despise**:
- Professional sports
- Government
- Root canals
* "Japanimation" is often referred to as "Anime" by a certain, smooth-brained segment of U.S. citizens.
** "Despise" is not an appropriate word. It was a toss up between "loathe" and "despise," but neither are strong enough. There is no word for how I feel about these things, so I will express it mathematically: how I feel about professional sports, government, and root canals is equal to the limit of how I feel about getting my toe smashed with a hammer divided by the absolute value of x as x approaches zero.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)